Izza Zukhrufia

Take Every Chance, Because We're Only Young Once

Back then before the day of pemilihan wahana, there were multiple times when I had second thoughts,

“What if I just waited until November and stayed in Jogja? It’s way easier. No need to move out, with all the comfort Jogja offers.”

Well comfort zone is comfort but outside the comfort zone is where the magic happens! I am grateful that I decided to move out. Got myself a bunch of new friends, new language to learn and new cultures to experience. Woohhooww!! ✨✨✨

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This morning I woke up feeling so emotional ’cause finally I am going to leave my hometown for real. Yogyakarta is the city where I was born and raised, and I literally never, ever left the city for a long time.

Few nights ago, when I was on my way home, a sudden realization hit me like a thunder on rainy days. Growing up and spend my adolescence (and also early adulthood) days in the city I am so familiar with, surrounded by my loved ones, maybe, I have taken this live for granted.

Even though I’ve lived here from the very first breath I took, I do not know the streets well (Ha! Blame my poor navigation skill). But still, there is a sense of familiarity whenever I wandering around even if I was in the other part of the town. I fell in love with the delicious food I can easily find, I speak local language (imagining myself have to learn a bit Sundanesse language here and there is a bit…. annoying), I know the tips and the trick to avoid traffic jam, or as simple as how to park my motorcycle near the destination I want to go.

But the most important thing is, the city is the place where almost all of my favorite people live. My parents, all of my siblings, Eyang, my best friends… The list goes on and on I can’t even mention them one by one. Some of my bestest friends had already took their first step towards adulthood life way earlier than me (this is what actually happens when you are a medical student. Quoting one of my favorite lecturer, he said “Anak kedokteran itu indeks harga sahamnya tinggi tapi telat dewasa”— which is couldn’t be more true) and I know that Jakarta – Bandung is way closer than Jakarta – Yogyakarta, but still I am not going to be in the same city as them.

I really want to have a proper goodbye with everyone back in town, but time is not my friend. I tried so hard to squeeze a quick meet-up with everyone into the tight schedule, but decision has to be made.

I met Nina last week, and I remember she told me that I was so brave to get out from my comfort zone, being the only UGM doctor in a city I do not know and pretty far from my parents and families. She also said that this was a big achievement for a selfish bastard like me HAHAHA (she did not say bastard, though). I never thought that way, and her nice and kinds words actually motivates me and makes me believe in myself even more.

I met Nisa and Nadira on Monday evening, the three of us shared our nervousness, our anxiety yet also our excitement about our upcoming life as internship doctor. Nadira is going to Mataram at the end of the week, and Nisa is going to Magelang after provisioning. All of us are from Yogyakarta, so we feel sad about leaving this beautiful town, but also excited that maybe we have chance to visit Nadira in the future!

I met Aya and Njik on Tuesday. I told them the story behind Jawa Barat’s departure and how trash Indonesia’s bureaucracy system. I also told them that I unexpectedly met my ex boyfriend :)) We had a very good laugh and I just realize that meeting these two has been very easy in the last couple months, and it’s kinda make my heart broke a little.

I met Manda and Titin straight after that and it was pure joy. It’s been a very long time since we had our long talk like that. Titin filled in the details of her wedding preparation, and of course some drama during the prep :)) I’m very grateful that those crazy women are exist.

I went to Eyang’s house yesterday to asked for her blessing. I knew she tried her best to hold her tears when I told her I’m going to Bandung the following day, and it broke my heart even more. She finally let the cry out a little, but I know that my name will be forever in her prayer and I coudn’t be more grateful.

Ah, writing this makes me miss them already. But I know I’m going to nail it one year ahead ✨

P.S : I could not arrange a meet-up with Ucik, Ita and Gairah Malam (Gisca-Habil-Afif-Ageng-Yohan). Let’s pray that I can attend Fety’s wedding so that at least I can say goodbye to them *fingers crossed*

KA Lodaya Pagi, 14th of September 2017

Hi, there!
Now that I have lots of spare time (read: pengangguran) I have decided to open this blog for public again.

I make a new blog site that is private, so anything that might be too personal to write down here will be uploaded there. I guess this will be a wise choice :)

Workin’ on a new blog post today. Will be uploaded soon! Enjoy ♦

Back

Hi!
Now that I have my laptop back and finally have some spare time (bye-bye, major department!) as the surgery department has finished few days ago, I’m back.

I actually have been trying to write blog a bit before, via my smartphone or my iPad, but I just didn’t feel like it. I didn’t know why. In fact, tonight I don’t feel like writing, but I know I have to.

I’ve said before that writing is like a therapy, at least for me. It’s like seeing your therapist, except of course, you don’t have to pay to write on your own blog.

There are a lot going on in my mind now…. I mean… I’m approaching the end of my clinical rotation, and if everything goes well, I’m going to be a doctor one year from now. And it’s just there is a lot to think about. I’ve spent almost the whole last week watched Scandal from season 1-2, watched Running Man for I forgot how many episodes, re-watched The Newsroom and started watch The Big Bang Theory, and I’m actually really happy about that. It feels like it has been very loooooooong time since I had such a generous amount of me time, of me-doing-everything-I-wanted-to-do time.

I’m glad I can make it with this post. I know it’s short and haven’t revealed all the things I thought, but I guess it helps. Talking to my parents is not my thing because I know I will not get the answer I need or the answer I want to hear. Plus there’s always judgment. Boyfriend and best friends… well they get busy. They have their own lives and their own problems so… really, at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. And your blog. You gotta be your own hero because nobody will.

All right, I gotta go. Anesthesiology is starting tomorrow at 7. Wish me luck!

Nobody said this is gonna be easy, no.
But I said this is gonna be worth it.