Izza Zukhrufia

Take Every Chance, Because We're Only Young Once

Hai.

Warning: Postingan ini akan jadi postingan yang sangat random sesuai mood gue. Gue nggak akan ambil pusing buat mikirin grammar, mikirin diksi, mikirin alur cerita. Read at your own risk. You’ve been warned ;)

It’s been forever since gue update blog.

Sebenernya nyesel sih, well because buat gue, blog adalah salah satu cara yang cukup efektif untuk kontemplasi. Me-review perubahan-perubahan apa yang terjadi dalam jangka waktu tertentu. Dan udah berbulan-bulan gue ga update. Sebenernya banyakan faktor luarnya sih emang, postingan yang bener-bener postingan itu terakhir bulan Maret, which was 6 months ago!

Postingan di bulan Maret itu pas jamannya Obsgyn Sardjito. Ya wajar sih, selama 7 minggu setelahnya wa jadi tahanan kota di Klaten, buat tidur aja ra kober apalagi buat update blog, hwahahahaha.

Selain jadwal luar kota yang menguras waktu, faktor laptop juga jadi faktor terbesar. Emang udah uzur kayanya…. Ibaratnya udah geriatri udah kena penyakit macem-macem. Ini aja dibela-belain ngeblognya dari ipad. 

Anyways,

Wa pernah bilang kalo bakalan nulis tentang coass life as soon as possible. Truth? Setelah melewati 10 minggu Obsgyn, 4 minggu THT, 1 minggu libur, 10 minggu Interna dan 4 minggu Forensik, wa belom nulis apapun tentang kehidupan koas. Yha. Karena. Emang. Ga. Sempet. Mungkin sempet sih, kalo disempet-sempetin HAHAHAHA huft. Sebenernya kehidupan koas terlalu seru dan terlalu sayang untuk tidak ditulis di blog, tapi pada kesempatan kali ini ya emang lagi nggak pengen membahas itu secara spesifik…..

Let’s see.

Life happens so freaking fast it scares me.

Ga nyangka loh udah koas selama 25 minggu alias 6 bulan lebih 1 minggu. Ga kerasa aja gitu. Kehidupan itu kayak air, ngalir aja terus ga mau berhenti. So is life, it won’t stop even when we beg to stop. Mau nggak mau, capek nggak capek, siap nggak siap, you need to keep moving. Keep moving so you won’t be left behind. Keep moving so you won’t fall.

Anjir gue ngantuk -_-

Well, ada 2 pilihan.

1. 90% kemungkinan kejadian, wa pilih publish dan membiarkan postingan setengah jadi ini muncul di blog (because I’m so impulsive that way!!)

2. 10% kemungkinan kejadian, wa pilih save draft dan tulisan ini hanya akan berakhir di draft seperti puluhan tulisan lainnya. Sayang, kan?

Good night, good people. Be good!

P.S: Kangen Zaky. Kangen as if udah bertahun-tahun ga ketemu, padahal. . . . . . . 

Advertisements

We spent 5 (or even 6, I don’t know the exact number) months being away from each other, physically and mentally.
I just don’t think I can going through those phases anymore. No.
Being with someone who makes you feel alone is way worse than being alone itself.
It was such a pain in the ass and I know that he felt the same way.
It’s not me nor him, it’s us.

Hopefully we both have learned from those times and won’t repeat the same mistakes again ya :’)

Keep Going.

Today I learned about something.

Well, I had 50 patients today and it’s a hell of number (and a hell of work too).
These past days were pretty rough.
My friends and I were adjusting our life to the new environment, the working hours and the workloads, the hospital administration stuff, and we still need to prepare for our Mini-CEX and tutorial and blablablah.
These past days were incredibly tiring and exhausting, both physically and mentally.
And it was only 1 week out of 93 weeks we need to get through.
Sometimes, I feel like “Can I really do this? Am I going to make it?” and it scares me.

But today, there is one patient who’s going to receive chemo and she’s admitted to the ward.
She was in terrible pain, I bet on scale from one to ten it was nine.
I felt totally useless to saw her like that, I was thinking “Fuck what can I do I can do nothing“.
And yep, in fact, I did nothing at all.
I just tried my best comforting her and her family, I assessed her vital sign very carefully since I was afraid that I would hurt her–she seemed fragile, all I could do was making sure that she received the best treatment she could.

When she was already in her bed and I was about to leave, she said to me while holding her pain and her tears, “Dok, terimakasih banyak ya, matur nuwun sanget, maaf saya merepotkan, maaf saya merepotkan“.
That moment, I almost burst into tears.

Knowing that you actually do something for someone, no matter how small it is, gives me strength.
Indeed the upcoming 2 years will be really hard and difficult, and nobody said it’s gonna be easy.
Hell, it’s gonna be such a pain in the ass, but it’s gonna be worth it
You’re in the right path.
Keep going.

Summer: Well, you know, I guess it’s ’cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and… now he’s my husband.
Tom: Yeah. And… so?
Summer: So, what if I’d gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I’d gotten there 10 minutes later? It was – it was meant to be. And… I just kept thinking… Tom was right.
Tom: No.
Summer: Yeah, I did.
Summer: I did. It just wasn’t me that you were right about.