Izza Zukhrufia

Take Every Chance, Because We're Only Young Once

We spent 5 (or even 6, I don’t know the exact number) months being away from each other, physically and mentally.
I just don’t think I can going through those phases anymore. No.
Being with someone who makes you feel alone is way worse than being alone itself.
It was such a pain in the ass and I know that he felt the same way.
It’s not me nor him, it’s us.

Hopefully we both have learned from those times and won’t repeat the same mistakes again ya :’)

Keep Going.

Today I learned about something.

Well, I had 50 patients today and it’s a hell of number (and a hell of work too).
These past days were pretty rough.
My friends and I were adjusting our life to the new environment, the working hours and the workloads, the hospital administration stuff, and we still need to prepare for our Mini-CEX and tutorial and blablablah.
These past days were incredibly tiring and exhausting, both physically and mentally.
And it was only 1 week out of 93 weeks we need to get through.
Sometimes, I feel like “Can I really do this? Am I going to make it?” and it scares me.

But today, there is one patient who’s going to receive chemo and she’s admitted to the ward.
She was in terrible pain, I bet on scale from one to ten it was nine.
I felt totally useless to saw her like that, I was thinking “Fuck what can I do I can do nothing“.
And yep, in fact, I did nothing at all.
I just tried my best comforting her and her family, I assessed her vital sign very carefully since I was afraid that I would hurt her–she seemed fragile, all I could do was making sure that she received the best treatment she could.

When she was already in her bed and I was about to leave, she said to me while holding her pain and her tears, “Dok, terimakasih banyak ya, matur nuwun sanget, maaf saya merepotkan, maaf saya merepotkan“.
That moment, I almost burst into tears.

Knowing that you actually do something for someone, no matter how small it is, gives me strength.
Indeed the upcoming 2 years will be really hard and difficult, and nobody said it’s gonna be easy.
Hell, it’s gonna be such a pain in the ass, but it’s gonna be worth it
You’re in the right path.
Keep going.

Summer: Well, you know, I guess it’s ’cause I was sitting in a deli and reading Dorian Gray and a guy comes up to me and asks me about it and… now he’s my husband.
Tom: Yeah. And… so?
Summer: So, what if I’d gone to the movies? What if I had gone somewhere else for lunch? What if I’d gotten there 10 minutes later? It was – it was meant to be. And… I just kept thinking… Tom was right.
Tom: No.
Summer: Yeah, I did.
Summer: I did. It just wasn’t me that you were right about.

There is always, always, always something to be grateful about.

Allah memang Maha Baik ya, padahal kelakuanku kayak gini :”’
Waktu semalem freaking out dan bener-bener lagi butuh temen buat ikutan freaking out bareng aku, meskipun itu udah jam 11 malem, selalu adaaaa aja orang yang bisa dikontak sekedar buat ndengerin gue teriak-teriak HAHAHA dan ngasih tau supaya tetep tenang dan jangan panik.
Di saat lagi super duper galau karena ngerasa ga siap (beberapa orang bilang muka galauku se-obvious itu -_-), ada aja orang-orang nggak terduga yang dateng buat nyemangatin, dari yang ngomong langsung, via line/wasap, sampe bela-belain telpon cuma buat bilang kalo aku pasti bisa ngelewatin semua ini :”””)

Seriously guys, gue cuma butiran jasjus tanpa kalian semua.

P.S: Tulisan ini dibuat supaya gue tetap ingat buat selalu bersyukur, karena bahkan di saat-saat terburuk sekalipun, akan selalu ada momen-momen terbaik.
P.S.S: Going to write about co-ass life soon xoxo.

Hai.
Mood beberapa minggu terakhir ini lagi ga jelas. Iya, ga jelas.
Dibilang sedih ya kagak wong ga sedih.
Tapi ya nggak bisa yang bener-bener full seneng gitu, ngambang, di tengah-tengah, dan mayan melelahkan juga ternyata -______-

Pingin cerita, tapi bingung cerita ke siapa, bingung juga mau cerita apa karena gak ada yang bisa diceritain -____-
Ujung-ujungnya ngeblog wkwkwk.
Well, mumpung Zaki jam segini udah di rumah dan gak kelayapan kemana-mana (biasanya doi sampe rumah jam 3 pagi -___-), tadi mampir bentar ke sebelah.
Kita ga ngobrol blas, dia cuma laptopan baca komik dan aku numpang tiduran pegang hape twitteran.
Tapi keluar dari kamarnya dia tuh bisa yang bener-bener ada perasaan jauh lebih lega wkwkwkwk.
Mungkin cuma butuh ditemenin doang kali yaaaa….

Selalu bersyukur sih punya Zaki Afa Mia.
Kadang kalo lagi ga enak gitu suka mampir ke kamarnya Zaki, sambat-sambat dikit (padahal ya ga ditanggepin, doi cuma hm hm doang hahaha) atau kayak tadi ga ngomong apa-apa cuma numpang tiduran, but then I feel better already.
Kalo Afa akhir-akhir ini jadi super sweet, gatau deh kenapa kok jadi mau dicium mau dipeluk-peluk, kalo aku lagi sedih/bete trus aku cerita dia pasti nanya aku kenapa habis itu selalu mau kupeluk and then I feel better already.
Mia, well… karena lagi puber kali yak jadi sekarang ini malah lagi jauh hahahah dia lebih suka main ama temennya :))

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Foto jaman masih muda :))))))