Izza Zukhrufia

Take Every Chance, Because We're Only Young Once

Category: Life

Blessings in Disguise.

Hai. Kalo sekarang nginget-inget hari pertama pembekalan internship… wahahaha, cuma bisa ngekek-ngekek, emang lah Allah itu adalah sutradara dan penulis skenario terbaik.

Kebetulan 1 kelompok internshipku ini jumlahnya ganjil yaitu 19 orang. Kalo dibagi jadi 3 kelompok, otomatis jadinya bakalan 6-6-7 kan…. Nah pas pembekalan itu salah satu yang paling bikin deg-degan adalah nungguin pembagian kelompok. Penasaran sekelompok sama siapa aja dan dapet rotasi apa pertamanya.

Throwback waktu pembagian kelompok, aku ada di kelompok poli & rawat inap, isinya 6 orang. Dari 6 orang ini, cowoknya cuma 1 biji gengs :)) sisanya cewek semua. 2 orang temenku dari Maranatha, 2 orang dari Unisba dan 1 orang dari Unpad. USA (Urang Sunda Asli) semua. Sempet ada rasa insecure… anjer ini kenapa yang dari Marnat berdua, yang dari Unisba berdua. Sesama single fighter dari Unpad cowok. Ntar kalo gue ga punya temen gimana :( Aselik sempet kepikiran kaya gitu. Ya secara di internship ini ga punya temen 1 almamater dan bukan orang Bandung, wajar dong punya kekhawatiran kaya gitu. Selain itu, kalo rotasi awalnya adalah poli & rawat inap, urutan setelahnya adalah puskesmas baru kemudian IGD di akhir. Antara seneng dan sedih gitu lho, ngebayangin langsung jaga IGD emang serem, tapi ngebayangin jaga IGD di akhir juga ga kalah serem :(( Di saat temen-temen yang lain udah pada santai-santai, sini masih harus jaga malem huhuhu.

Udah gitu, yang bikin makin keki adalah, kelompok sebelah yaitu kelompoknya anak-anak IGD tuh kebagian yang ber-7, dan kalian harus tau dari 7 orang itu cowoknya ada 4!! Padahal total cowok di kelompok kami cuma ada 6. Ini bahkan 2/3 nya ada di 1 kelompok :)) Waktu itu mikirnya “Gils, enak banget ini kelompok IGD, udah orangnya banyak, cowoknya juga banyak. Jadwal jaganya bisa enak banget tuh.” Mana kalo rotasi awalnya IGD, urutannya setelah itu adalah poli & rawat inap, terus puskesmas. Enak banget kan kaya bersakit-sakit dahulu bersenang-senang kemudian.

Jujur sejujur-jujurnya, sempet ada pemikiran “Kok aku nggak di kelompok IGD aja ya..

Pemikiran itu cuma bisa aku ketawain sekarang :))))))


Yang pertama, karena poli & rawat inap yang seharusnya cukup santai, ternyata tidak sesantai itu. Ada banyak adaptasi dan juga selisih pendapat, terutama karena memang rotasi poli bersinggungan dengan DPJP yang berbagai jenis orangnya. Jadi ya bersyukur, rotasi yang lumayan drama ini sudah terlewati di awal DENGAN SELAMAT.

Yang kedua, karena ternyata kelompok IGD ini lumayan banyak konflik internalnya dan lumayan panas juga gejolak di dalam kelompoknya. Males banget kan kalo harus bekerja dalam 1 tim selama 1 tahun bersama orang-orang yang nggak cocok dengan dirimu.

Yang ketiga, pasti bakalan muak banget kalo melewatkan 8 bulan berturur-turut di lingkungan RS terus. Jadi bersyukur karena kelompokku ada break sebentar dari suasana RS, paling nggak ada istirahatnya 4 bulan nggak jaga malem. Ehehehehe.

Aseli, nulis ini sambil takjub sama betapa hebatnya rencana Allah. Aku yakin sih anak IGD dengan segala konfliknya juga pasti ada hikmahnya… cuma ya aku bersyukur banget dengan temen-temen kelompokku yang sekarang dan rotasi yang aku jalani. 2 hal yang dulu aku pikir bakalan goes wrong… Heheheh.




Today is 29th of December and I can’t believe 2017 is approaching its end very fast. I could not help but thinking “What have I done in the past year? What have I accomplished? Have I become a better version of myself?”

To be honest, I don’t feel like I’ve become a better person than I’ve been before. And that’s actually pretty…. sad pathetic, don’t you think?

Bu to answer that questions I’ve been asking myself objectively, let’s take a look back to the very first start of 2017.

In January, I just finished my clinical rotation ON TIME. You know.. my clinical rotation wasn’t that smooth, just like every other road it had its bumps, ups and downs. I failed my Internal Medicine examination TWICE (hahaha ketawain aja lah ini), but praise Allah that I’ve managed to FINALLY passed the examination even though it took me a very long time. I didn’t do my best on my last rotation which was Ophthalmology, but again praise Allah (cause what are we without Him, right?!), I got help from people thus my score was not THAT bad. Now that I remembered it, maybe I should feel a slight proud cause… clinical rotation was not easy. I know that MOST of my friends are those super crazy-smart-intelligent-diligent-anything-nice-you-name-it people. So it wasn’t a surprise when ALMOST everybody survived the clinical rotation and even passed it with excellency. But still….. the fact is not everyone survived, and I know my skills and my capabilities and now I think it’s not wrong to give myself a little credit for surviving through medical school.

In February, well…. I didn’t do much except focusing for the national board examination. Those days were hard indeed. At the morning I went to campus for additional lectures, then straight after that I would be at the so called bimbel, an additional lectures outside the campus.  Those days before the examination day were way scarier than I thought it would be. I experienced a pretty bad insomnia back then, and I thought that was because I was so freaking nervous and anxious about the exam. I mean, what if I didn’t make it? What if I failed? Those were the days when I felt like the world is on my shoulder, and I’m really afraid that I’m gonna let my parents down (OMG even writing and remembering this sends me a chill through my spine. UKMPPD should be listed as a traumatic experience indeed).

In March, I didn’t have the chance to write about it here in my blog BUT YEAY I PASSED THE NATIONAL BOARD EXAMINATION! It was (not so) early in the morning, when I woke up to hundred messages in LINE App mostly from my fellow friends who fought together, saying congratulations to each other. I could remember how fast my heart beating when I opened those messages, how my hands were almost shaking when I made sure my name was on the list. I cried when I ran out of my room to the dining room where Mom was making breakfast. I hugged her and cried and relieved that FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY the title “dr” is now in front of my name :”)

The days after announcement of the result of national board examination were pure joy. I think those were the days after SIX FREAKING YEARS I did not have to worry about what happens next (I did worry about my internship program but at that time I thought it was still loooooong way to go ahaahaha)

I went to visit Tika in Pekalongan with Ucik, tried the famous Sego Megono original from Pekalongan and went shopping for Batik Pekalongan. We even made our way to Kebun Teh Pagilaran that located in Batang. That was such a fun trip, thank you Tika and family for the warm hospitality!

I went to Bandung to visit Zaky after the announcement, ’cause that guy’s been protesting about me never visiting him–not even once–during our long distance relationship AHAHA. I took the train to Bandung-Jogja all alone. Some people might not like it but you know… traveling alone has its own perks. My trip to Bandung and back to Jogja was a perfect timing for contemplating what I’ve done till mid 2017, and it gave me fresh perspective, made me realize that there were SO MUCH THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL ABOUT. And I thought the trip also refreshed my relationship with him cause that was the first time we had a date outside Jogja. I mean, visiting new places is always fun, rightttt?

In the end of April was Zaky’s turn to back to Jogja to witnessed my Hippocratic Oath slash Graduation Day. We were afraid that he might couldn’t make it ’cause it was near his final exam. But thanks goodness he made it! :D

There weren’t much happened in mid-2017, except for the fact that I did not have to worry about where and how I spent my Ramadhan and Eid al-Fitr. I did apply to an English class though, it was a conversation class, made myself a group of new friends there, said yes to an offer to accompany a bunch of kids from Sekolah Cikal that went to Jogja for a study trip, and assisting one of my lecturer from Family Medicine. Now I kinda regret why didn’t I get involved in more activities? I mean now I’m stuck here hahahahah -_- OH! I did watch a Korean drama for the first time though!! :)))))) It was Goblin, well because its popularity is just unimaginable :)) (and still love the drama until today :p).

In late 2017, I was haunted by a question.

Mau intership dimana?

At first I actually was not so sure. What do I really want? Do I really wanted to be away from my family and friends? From Zaky? Do I really wanted to work in such an isolated island? There are several things that changed my mind.. even though at that time I still wasn’t sure about my choice. There were multiple times when I told myself “What if I just waited until November and stayed in Jogja?” But then there were also a lot of times when I had my doubts and second thoughts… and eventually at the end of the day I just prayed to Allah….

Ya Allah, tempatkanlah aku di tempat yang Engku ridhoi, di tempat yang menurutMu terbaik untukku karena sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Mengetahui sedangkan aku tidak. Tempatkanlah aku di tempat yang kondusif untukku belajar, yang akan membuatku menjadi pribadi dan juga dokter yang lebih baik lagi. Aamiin Ya Rabbal Alamiin.

And taraaaaaa! Here I am now, living in this big city for almost 4 month now. Liked it or not, I believe that Allah is The Greatest, The Best of The Best director and now that He puts me here, I know He puts me for the best reason :)

And I’m actually really really grateful that I decided to move out of my beloved hometown. This is my very first time trying to live by myself away from my parents, this is me trying to learn how to become responsible for myself. And living alone has become a fun and great experience so far :D It’s really up to you what you wanna do with your life, ’cause no one is going to remind you except yourself. So if something goes wrong…. well you’ve got to fix it by yourself too. I think this is a very valuable experience cause eventually I’m going to move out from my home as well, build my own family. You know I’ve never been away from my parents for a long time. Spending almost two months alone in Netherlands and Croatia certainly didn’t count!

As for my internship program, well I like it here. Being the only UGM doctor and an outsider honestly felt pretty…. scary at first. But!! It surely has its own perks ;) People at the hospital easily recognizes me “Oh dokter yang dari UGM ya?” or “Ooo dokter yang asli Jogja?”. Even the parking attendants do not have to ask which my motorcycle is cause they know already. “Yang platnya AB kan dok?” HAHAHAHA (yaiyalah, kayanya gue adalah satu-satunya pegawai yang platnya AB di RS). I get used to people called me “medhok” or “Jawa banget” especially at the beginning (padahal mereka tuh juga kalo ngomong Sunda, Sunda medhok! :)))) I met a group of stranger that feels like family now. My new friends are very nice and it is just so refreshing to learn something new from them. Jogja is so small where everyone knows everyone and meeting new faces has been really exciting! I can tell them the story about Jogjakarta, about how the city shape is square so it’s very easy to tell which way is north, west etc (they always complain whenever I start using north/east/west/south during conversation HAHAHA), about the delicious and OF COURSE very cheap food they can easily find, and a lot more other stories. I also learned a bit Sundanese language from them, learned about clinical rotation system in another uni, and many many more. I’ve got to explore this city, and even though Bandung has not quite catch my heart like Jogja did, but I like the fact that the weather can reach 19 Celsius degrees at night! (Makanya kemarin pulang ke Jogja rasanya sumuk pooolllllll).

Looking back to 2017, well I’ve actually accomplished something.

    • Surviving six freaking years of medical school (thanks God I did not drop it out)
    • Officially being a doctor
    • Moving out of my comfort zone

Turns out 2017 is not that bad. And I know that I still have a lot to learn, because this is just the beginning.

2018 resolution? Never stop trying to be better each and every day :)


(Pic credit to https://dontgetserious.com/happy-new-year-2018/)

P.S : I know I said “today is 29th December” but I published it on Dec 30th HEHEHE
P.S.S : Told myself to blog more since DECADES AGO yet I guess I’m just too lazy. Hopefully can make it happen next year!

Back then before the day of pemilihan wahana, there were multiple times when I had second thoughts,

“What if I just waited until November and stayed in Jogja? It’s way easier. No need to move out, with all the comfort Jogja offers.”

Well comfort zone is comfort but outside the comfort zone is where the magic happens! I am grateful that I decided to move out. Got myself a bunch of new friends, new language to learn and new cultures to experience. Woohhooww!! ✨✨✨


This morning I woke up feeling so emotional ’cause finally I am going to leave my hometown for real. Yogyakarta is the city where I was born and raised, and I literally never, ever left the city for a long time.

Few nights ago, when I was on my way home, a sudden realization hit me like a thunder on rainy days. Growing up and spend my adolescence (and also early adulthood) days in the city I am so familiar with, surrounded by my loved ones, maybe, I have taken this live for granted.

Even though I’ve lived here from the very first breath I took, I do not know the streets well (Ha! Blame my poor navigation skill). But still, there is a sense of familiarity whenever I wandering around even if I was in the other part of the town. I fell in love with the delicious food I can easily find, I speak local language (imagining myself have to learn a bit Sundanesse language here and there is a bit…. annoying), I know the tips and the trick to avoid traffic jam, or as simple as how to park my motorcycle near the destination I want to go.

But the most important thing is, the city is the place where almost all of my favorite people live. My parents, all of my siblings, Eyang, my best friends… The list goes on and on I can’t even mention them one by one. Some of my bestest friends had already took their first step towards adulthood life way earlier than me (this is what actually happens when you are a medical student. Quoting one of my favorite lecturer, he said “Anak kedokteran itu indeks harga sahamnya tinggi tapi telat dewasa”— which is couldn’t be more true) and I know that Jakarta – Bandung is way closer than Jakarta – Yogyakarta, but still I am not going to be in the same city as them.

I really want to have a proper goodbye with everyone back in town, but time is not my friend. I tried so hard to squeeze a quick meet-up with everyone into the tight schedule, but decision has to be made.

I met Nina last week, and I remember she told me that I was so brave to get out from my comfort zone, being the only UGM doctor in a city I do not know and pretty far from my parents and families. She also said that this was a big achievement for a selfish bastard like me HAHAHA (she did not say bastard, though). I never thought that way, and her nice and kinds words actually motivates me and makes me believe in myself even more.

I met Nisa and Nadira on Monday evening, the three of us shared our nervousness, our anxiety yet also our excitement about our upcoming life as internship doctor. Nadira is going to Mataram at the end of the week, and Nisa is going to Magelang after provisioning. All of us are from Yogyakarta, so we feel sad about leaving this beautiful town, but also excited that maybe we have chance to visit Nadira in the future!

I met Aya and Njik on Tuesday. I told them the story behind Jawa Barat’s departure and how trash Indonesia’s bureaucracy system. I also told them that I unexpectedly met my ex boyfriend :)) We had a very good laugh and I just realize that meeting these two has been very easy in the last couple months, and it’s kinda make my heart broke a little.

I met Manda and Titin straight after that and it was pure joy. It’s been a very long time since we had our long talk like that. Titin filled in the details of her wedding preparation, and of course some drama during the prep :)) I’m very grateful that those crazy women are exist.

I went to Eyang’s house yesterday to asked for her blessing. I knew she tried her best to hold her tears when I told her I’m going to Bandung the following day, and it broke my heart even more. She finally let the cry out a little, but I know that my name will be forever in her prayer and I coudn’t be more grateful.

Ah, writing this makes me miss them already. But I know I’m going to nail it one year ahead ✨

P.S : I could not arrange a meet-up with Ucik, Ita and Gairah Malam (Gisca-Habil-Afif-Ageng-Yohan). Let’s pray that I can attend Fety’s wedding so that at least I can say goodbye to them *fingers crossed*

KA Lodaya Pagi, 14th of September 2017


Hi, there!
Now that I have lots of spare time (read: pengangguran) I have decided to open this blog for public again.

I make a new blog site that is private, so anything that might be too personal to write down here will be uploaded there. I guess this will be a wise choice :)

Workin’ on a new blog post today. Will be uploaded soon! Enjoy ♦